R. J. Hoffman

good but thier are some points i wasnt happy with. personally i would name the goddes. it adds originality as the concept of a god being called god has already ...

its me agin with sum more suggestions if you are going to actually use them. how about you delve into his thoughts a bit. is he angry for having a ...

interesting point volant. i agree, unless you incorperate his behavior into the plot i suggest having some one else tell the boy the story.

dude i see you used my advice on the terain and on the type of armor they used. awesom action scene well worth my time. We can expect great things ...

I remain firm with my first post. it is one thing if you are just bad at writing, but it is another if you are to lazy to write something ...

I agree with the others. connan is to young. there is no size comparison for the dragon. what is the motivation for the hunters to hate the dragons? overall though ...

interesting, but has room for improvement. I believe you need to describe the characters more. is old man wrinkle? is he black, white, purple? there is also a time confliction ...

i agree with doctor kitty. you might be able to improve it by changing the point of view to third person and giving names, but more than anything smooth out ...

to start, a wyvern is a type of dragon...just wanna throw that out there. personally i have elemental dragons, each with its own anatomy specific to the enviroment in which ...

good i deas for improvement keep it up man. you should watch the military channel sumtimes. some of it is on modern day stuff the other part is on historical. ...

I was very disapointed in this piece. there is practically no description. does he live in an apartment? a house? is he in the city or country? the actions are ...

Very open ended, you could take this anumber of ways. You should improve the description of the pole though. Maybe smooth it out some, its a bit like a shopping ...

i dont want to discourage you but you need alot more description. what does the nieghborhood look like? What is the weather? is the sky red because of a high ...

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Pretty cool right here, im guessing that you watch the military channel like me. Finally some one understands the importance of strategy in a battle. though i greatly enjoyed this ...